The end of each year marks a quiet period of reflection for many. 2020 was unusual in that it was for myself, a whole year filled with reflection as I’m sure it will have been for my readers too.
For many of us, the Lockdown period will have been the first time that we were met with solitude and in solitude, encountered none other than ourselves.
This Lockdown I met Me.
Readers, I do a fair bit in my spare time and so it’s not often that I get to sit down with myself. But boy oh boy, did we have sit-down this year!
I had a word with Management one night and I asked myself a few questions.
“Am I happy with this mind?”.
“Can I stretch it open any further?”.
And lastly, most importantly: “Is there room for growth here?”.
It turns out there is and I have in fact spent the whole year growing. That’s what this year has been all about:
I, I, I.
Me, Me, Me.
Self-aware. Self-aware. Self-aware.
Can we talk about that last phrase there?
Self-awareness is fundamentally all about understanding one-self. Every single decision that you make in life begins and ends with you. In order to make the best decisions for yourself, it makes logical sense to understand yourself first.
YOU are the subject that you should know best and the subject that only YOU can better.
Well readers, Lockdown gave me the opportunity to do just that.
I’m no Michelangelo but I’m making art. My life is the sculpture and unassumingly, I’ve spent the last year sculpting.
Chisel, chisel, chisel.
Refine, refine, refine.
Bits are breaking apart but at the same time, everything is coming together.
I’m not sure if this piece will make sense to my readers but that’s okay because more than anything, this piece is for me. It’s a note to self:
Near the end of each year, you scroll through the photo albums on your phone, Fahmida. You click on the album titled ‘Favourites’ and you scroll through and smile at all the good memories and celebrations that took place over the year and everything you love:
Look! There are your best friends, we fucking love them man! There are the concerts you went to! And oh my God, there’s that piece of art you found in the brand new city you went exploring in! There’s your niece too – in one video she’s simultaneously doing the splits, dunking an Oreo into her milk AND singing at the same time (and you thought you were the busy girl, huh)?
It’s a good time, the end of the year.
We’re low on the ‘good mems’ this year because you got thrown into three Lockdowns. You aren’t out with friends for New Year’s tonight either and are in fact writing from behind Tier 4 bars at this very moment 😭. But the end of this year is good too for the simple fact that your whole year was filled with growth.
In case you look back and wonder, this is what you spent 2020 doing: on your big, bold dreams and your biggest project – yourself, you worked hard. Then, you grew soft. You spent the early half of the year cultivating an even better space for your growth. And in the last six months, you gained self-awareness.
That last one’s important, Fahmida – that one is going to carry us far for the plans we have for 2021.
That’s been me, Frankly Fahmida on 2020.
Catch you all in the New Year!